told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
