My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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