so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
