I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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