just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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