Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
