sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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