I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
