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You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
