no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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