So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
