You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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