a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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