If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize