and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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