I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
