Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
