You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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