so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize