I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I need to calm my uterus...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
