You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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