i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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