No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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