I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
