My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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