if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
