I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
