not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
