hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Enjoy the penises
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
