some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
