My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
