ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
