D3 body, D1 cock
Sry I called you an 8
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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