he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
