i just had sex bonerless
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
