he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i came on her dog
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
