2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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