It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
