Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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