You just made me feel so damn special
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
