Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
