"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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