is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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