Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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