this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
