my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize