Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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