The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
