the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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