What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
