dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
