..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
