yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
