Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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