Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
