i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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