thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
