Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
