he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
