I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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